Needs and Values is the name of one of the modules of the Empowerment and English programme.
How does naming what is important for you relate to your language goals?
When I asked my client to define her goal for the coaching process, she said she wanted to be braver in speaking in English. Courage was important to her and manifested even in the decision to take part in the language coaching programme, which as she admitted was a huge challenge for her on many levels. Even taking this step of doing something that seems to be far from the comfort zone is empowering.
As we moved on, she also talked a lot about feeling free. Free from but also free to.
Free to communicate and express, but also free from judgement and criticism.
Freedom may also be understood as space, easiness, comfortableness, effortlessness. Space to take your time. Effortlessness in finding words. Comfortableness with making mistakes. And the ease of becoming relaxed and having fun while learning and speaking a language.
And so, the third prominent value for my client was security. Security which allowed her to focus on learning. Acceptance, empathy and curiosity, that are the foundations of New Language Coaching approach, have working in the state of flow in mind. Flow is possible when we are relaxed and don’t feel such a strong need to control oneself and the situation. When we let go and are not afraid.
What I value a lot in NVC (non-violent communication) is, among other things, its approach to needs and emotions, where emotions inform us about our needs that want to be fulfilled. Just like the signals from our body do. Clenched jaws, pain in the neck, clenched fists, pain in the stomach.
Listening to our body and emotions may be the first step in realising what we really need. And the next step might be to fulfill this need in accordance with our values.
My client wanted to feel free to communicate in English because relationships with people are important to her. When she realised that her stress and loss for words in English are related with the need to communicate, she opened up for making mistakes as she realised that what is important is communication and not speaking flawlessly.
What is important for you? What is the core of all your actions? Have you ever thought about it? What drives you in life?
Sometimes you may think that you must go on holiday, and precisely by the sea… and you think this is your need. But is it? Maybe you just need some rest, and this is your need. How about identifying what it is?
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